Motherhood is beautiful, sacred, and deeply transformative — but for me, it was also the place where my heart felt the most fragile. I prepared for diapers, sleepless nights, and all the practical parts of having a newborn. But nothing prepared me for the emotional weight that settled on me after giving birth. I have three children, and with each one was a new challenge.

Postpartum depression didn’t show up loudly. It arrived quietly — in moments when I was holding my baby but feeling completely numb inside. In nights where tears came for reasons I couldn’t explain. In days where guilt whispered, “You should be happier than this.”

I didn’t know it then, but I was not just recovering from childbirth.
I was dealing with unresolved trauma — old wounds that motherhood brought to the surface.
And when those two things collided, I found myself trying to survive emotions I didn’t have the language for. The combination of both left me overwhelmed, exhausted, and desperately trying to hold myself together.

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The Tap on my Shoulder

There were moments when I did not recognize myself. I didn’t understand what I was feeling. It was like an out of body experience. Disassociating from the world around me. I cried so much during this experience that my tears could fill an entire room. God himself had to tap me on the shoulder to let me know what I was actually experiencing. I encountered others that would randomly mention the time it took to actually recover from postpartum. As time progressed, I realized I couldn’t keep surviving on my own strength. I remember sitting alone, depressed, exhausted, trying to “push through.” And in that stillness, I felt God whisper to my heart: “study the book of Nehemiah” He had mentioned this to me before, but I somewhat mused over the book. But this time I actually looked up the name Nehemiah, and it simply means ” the Lord comforts”. At that moment I knew I was in for a ride.

God was not going to take this pain from me but rather walk me through the healing that I so desperately needed.

God’s loving hand dealt so gently with me. His words was a gentle invitation — to stop pretending I was strong and to let Him hold the broken pieces I kept hiding.

For the first time, I stopped fighting my emotions and allowed myself to rest. To feel. To breathe. To be honest. I let God meet me in the places that hurt.

And that was the beginning of my healing.

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Finding Peace in the Secret Place

The Secret Place became my refuge — spiritually and emotionally. In the Bible, the Secret Place represents intimacy with God, a safe haven where He meets us gently and restores us.

In those moments with Him:

I found space to breathe again

I didn’t have to perform

My tears were understood

My heart could untangle itself

I found peace in the middle of motherhood’s chaos

Slowly, He began to heal the trauma I never confronted.
Slowly, He rebuilt my identity — not as a struggling mom, but as His daughter.
Slowly, survival turned into stability… and stability turned into peace.

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The Calling Born Out of My Pain

Walking through postpartum depression revealed something powerful to me:

Mothers need more support — spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Not judgment.
Not pressure.
Not silence.

Support.

That realization planted a vision in my heart — a longing to create resources, community, and full support for the healing mother.

This blog is more than stories.
It’s a sanctuary.
A reminder that you are not alone.
A place where faith and mental health can exist together without shame.
A place where women can breathe, be honest, and heal.

This blog, Motherhood and the Secret Place, is the beginning of that dream. A safe place for conversations, healing, faith, and practical support.

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To the Mother Reading This…

If you feel overwhelmed…
If you’re exhausted…
If motherhood feels heavier than you expected…

Please hear me:

You are not alone. You are not failing. You are not broken.

Your emotions are valid.
Your healing matters.
Your story is still unfolding.

There is peace on the other side of survival.
I found mine in the Secret Place.
And my prayer is that this space helps you find yours too.

If This Post Spoke to You…

I would love to hear your story.
Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below — you never know who might be encouraged by your honesty. 💛

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